Epic Mealtime

Epic Mealtime

Yesterday I was in the kitchen, minding my own business, making myself a midday snack when I was confronted by The Boyfriend. He too was in search of a midday pick-me-up, but where my snack was light and (by most standards) healthy, The Boyfriend was high off of a Youtube binge and wanted something epic.

Have you ever seen the Youtube series Epic Mealtime? EMT is a Youtube cooking show that focuses on making high-calorie food, usually consisting of a lot of meat (especially bacon) and alcohol. The guys make things like tacos (using bacon weave as the taco shells; bacon slices as chips for the nachos; Patron guacamole, salsa, and cheese sauce) or chili (with Four Loko poured on top, eaten with a paddle out of a bacon-lined trough). All of their…creations are half exciting, half nauseating. The Boyfriend is a big fan of super fatty food and of Epic Mealtime and he has been hankering to make some epic food of his own. On this particular day, we decided to make his epic dreams come true and we created A Dog of Epic Proportions.

Epic Dog


  • 1 Hebrew National all-beef hot dog
  • 1 hot dog bun
  • 1 chicken breast, seasoned, cooked, and shredded
  • Sliced Muenster cheese
  • Sliced pickled jalapenos
  • 2 tbsp Siracha mayo (2 tbsp mayo + 1tsp Siracha, mixed together)
  • 1 tbsp Triscuit crumbs or similar (potato chips would work)


1) Turn oven on to broil. Start by toasting your hot dog bun. We just put ours into a toaster but it would have been even better buttered and toasted in a pan on the stove.

2) Heat up the hot dog and, if necessary, the chicken.

3) Spread Siracha mayo liberally on the hot dog bun; butterfly the hot dog (slice lengthwise).

4) Add hot dog and top with shredded chicken and sliced jalapenos.

5) Cover dog with slices of Muenster cheese and put hot dog on a cookie sheet into the oven. Cook about 3 minutes. Remove pan from oven and add Triscuit crumbs. Cook another 2-3 minutes.

The Boyfriend, ready to attack

This was a dog befitting of Thor

This was a damn tasty dog, let me tell you. And I know what you’re thinking: “I thought you were trying to change your life, live healthier. Isn’t Epic Dog sort of against that?” Don’t you worry—while I did have a bite of The Boyfriend’s snack, I made myself a much lighter (and healthier) snack: Triscuits, a wedge of the low-fat Laughing Cow swiss, and 3 slices of tomato, all washed down with a glass of iced Earl Gray. Some of this healthy eating stuff ain’t so bad 😉

PS I talked The Boyfriend into trying Jillian Michaels’ Yoga Meltdown DVD with me and let me tell you, it was kind of awesome. I thought it was going to be easy compared to her other kick-(my)ass DVDs but it wasn’t. It burned for the whole 18 minutes. But I really liked it! If you have ever wanted to try yoga, check out Jillian’s DVD.  It’ll get you stretched and balanced, mentally and physically.

2 responses »

  1. S,(am I allowed to use your name lol) I don’t think I could ever eat that, but trust me, I am hiding your post from Raymond, because then it would become a staple in Raymond’s lunch. I do have to share with you my own sort of hot dog story which just occurred in my kitchen. I really wanted a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner and I went into my kitchen, only to find out after I pulled out my ingredients that my bread smelled like nail polish. NAIL POLISH. How does that even happen? It looked totally normal, but was f-ed up. Completely discouraged by the lack of options in my fridge and really just wanting a grilled cheese sandwich, I seized upon the only fresh bread in the house: hot dog buns. Yes, I just made a desperate grilled cheese sandwich with hot dog buns. Glad to see I’m not the only one who has loaded up their buns lately with cheese. 🙂

  2. Alicia! You can use my real name. The code names are for avoiding stalkers once I have a huge fanbase; seeing as I am not there yet, feel free to call me Sarah.
    I definitely could not eat more than a bite of the Epic Dog–it was pretty intense.
    I love your grilled cheese-bun story! I hate when bread suddenly and mysteriously goes bad–and how does it end up smelling like nail polish? Blech!! I don’t think I have ever made a grilled cheese using a hot dog bun but I have definitely made hot dogs on regular bread when I am out of buns; it’s never the same though.
    I discovered an amazing farmers market yesterday–I should be posting about it tonight or tomorrow. If/when you ever visit me, we can stroll the market together!
    I miss you and I hope wedding prep is going well =D

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